Kate adds her testimony to the Women's Voices series during the 16 Days of Action Campaign.
"I never thought it was bad enough to go seek help from Women's Aid. I thought, I'm not one of those women, there are other women that are much worse off than me. I was wrong. I was one of those women and realising it was a turning point. He used to choke me and shake me, but he never punched me, and to him this proved he wasn't abusive.
Then, one day when I was pregnant, he was particularly violent, and banged my head against the wall and left numerous bruises. This shook me and I threatened to call the Guards on him. He knew I wouldn't though, I was pregnant and afraid to be left raising a child alone. After that incident, I asked him, 'How can I ever trust you again?' His response was 'How can I ever trust you again? You were going to call the Guards on me.'
That is the type of manipulation you're dealing with. He always played the victim and played down my feelings.
He thought that we were both in the same situation; that me being abused was the same as him being in trouble.
He used to tell me that I was exaggerating because he wouldn't hit me everyday."
If you are anxious or worried about your own relationship or are concerned about someone you know, our 24hr National Freephone Helpline is available on 1800 341 900.