Blog Archive

"Some of the worst experiences happened when he would use our little son." - Maura

Posted on December 01, 2017

Maura

"Before my marriage, there had been a few minor incidents that he explained away, by saying I had  misunderstood him. I believed him, because it made sense and the alternative would have been too crazy. After the marriage,  it took two weeks before he showed me his real self. I was not ready to recognise it though. What happened shocked me so badly that it took another 10 years before I even remembered it. 

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Permanent link | Categories: Women's Voices 20171st December 2017Day 7

Day 7: Children are abused

Posted on December 01, 2017

Day 7

Domestic violence continues to be a very common context in which children experience abuse, with the abuser of the mother being the abuser of the children. Research shows that the more severe the domestic violence is against the mother, the higher the risk of abuse against the children in the home.

In 2016, there were 3,823 disclosures of child abuse to the Women’s Aid National Freephone Helpline.

This figure includes 3,558 disclosures of emotional abuse and 183 disclosures where children were physically or sexually abused by the perpetrator of their mother’s abuse. It also includes 82 disclosures of where children were being abused during access visits and 18 disclosures of child abduction in the context of domestic violence.

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Permanent link | Categories: 16 facts for 16 daysDay 71st December 2017

"You get to a point where you think you can take it..." - Clare

Posted on November 30, 2017

Clare

"One time he dragged me in to the apartment by my hair. It was one of the few times that I fought back. I kicked him, but that just shocked and angered him even more. "Kick me, will ye?!" he shouted and responded with kicking me in the back of the head. I managed to get away from him and ran in to the bathroom. He tried to come in after me. I told him that I was seriously hurt and that my head was bleeding. This worried him and he kept trying to get in to the bathroom. He insisted I show him the blood, he wanted to see proof. That was out of fear for himself, not out of sympathy for me.

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Permanent link | Categories: Women's Voices 201730th November 2017Day 6

Day 6: Domestic abuse takes many forms

Posted on November 30, 2017

Day 6

Domestic abuse is not a once off event, but rather a pattern which escalates over time, and includes multiple forms of abuse: emotional, physical, sexual and financial abuse.  

We often hear from women that what felt like positive attention and attentiveness at the beginning of a relationship, turned into negative, controlling behaviour as the relationship became more established and it was harder to leave.

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Permanent link | Categories: Day 616 Facts for 16 Days30th November 2017

"He used to tell me that I was exaggerating because he wouldn't hit me everyday." - Kate

Posted on November 29, 2017

Kate

Kate adds her testimony to the Women's Voices series during the 16 Days of Action Campaign. 

"I never thought it was bad enough to go seek help from Women's Aid. I thought, I'm not one of those women, there are other women that are much worse off than me. I was wrong. I was one of those women and realising it was a turning point.  He used to choke me and shake me, but he never punched me, and to him this proved he wasn't abusive.

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Permanent link | Categories: Women's Voices 2017Day 5

Day 5: Domestic violence is hidden everywhere

Posted on November 29, 2017

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The Women's Aid National Freephone Helpline (1800 341 900) responds to over 44 calls each day. This figure is shocking but we know that this is just the tip of the iceberg. National research conducted by the National Crime Council in 2005 on domestic abuse in Ireland found that only a small percentage of the women surveyed had accessed support from a Helpline or support service. The same research found that 1 in 7 women or approximately 213,000 have suffered severe domestic violence.

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Permanent link | Categories: 16 Facts for 16 Days29th November 2017Day 5

"My daughter’s third birthday was the following day, and I discharged myself from hospital to help her blow out her candles" - Jessica

Posted on November 28, 2017

Jessica

As part of our Women's Voices campaign, Jessica writes about her experience of domestic abuse, surviving emotional and physical abuse and the life changing support from Women's Aid.

I can’t believe I stayed with Jonathan for so long. Even more so than the physical violence, the mental element was the worst. Definitely. You get stripped apart by the mental torture. Having three kids by myself now is hard, but it’s easier than when I was with him. They are happy and safe, which is what they deserve. I have normal worries now, just the same as everyone else. I have a great life.

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Permanent link | Categories: Women's Voices 2017Day 428th November 2017

Day 4: One in Five women experience some form of domestic abuse in Ireland

Posted on November 28, 2017

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One in Five Women in Ireland will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lifetime. Domestic abuse can affect any woman and can happen in any home. This means that every day in Ireland, women are beaten, hospitalised and can have ongoing and long-term physical and mental health issues. Every day, women are raped, sexually abused and have no freedom to negotiate a safe and respectful sexual relationship. Women are isolated from supports and from family and friends, and emotional abuse often means that women are trapped in their own home by those closest to them.

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Permanent link | Categories: 16 Facts for 16 Days28th November 2017Day 4

"When speaking out your voice can sound alien, even to you." - Niamh Ní Dhomhnaill

Posted on November 27, 2017

Niamh

In the first part of the Women's Voices series for the 16 Days 2017 campaign, Niamh Ní Dhomhnaill, an activist for improved services and awareness around issues of domestic and sexual abuse, writes about how speaking out about experiences of sexual and domestic violence can be a scary but life altering experience.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t know how bad it got for you, why didn’t you say something?”

Abuse and violence are often described as ‘unspeakable acts’ but who deemed them to be unspeakbale in the first place? I don’t think it was the people who had such horror enacted on them.

Silence can be broken in a myriad of ways

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Permanent link | Categories: Women's Voices 2017

Women's Voices Series 16 Days 2017

Posted on November 27, 2017

Women's Voices

During the 16 Days Campaign 2017, Women's Aid will share a number of short extracts from our Women's Voices series featuring individual stories from survivors of domestic abuse in Ireland. Each woman tells her story anonymously, sharing her own unique personal experience of the abuse she suffered. By telling their stories, the survivors hope that those in similar situations reach out, ask for help and seek support.  We thank the women for sharing their experiences with us - it is a privilege to hear them.

If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing domestic violence please contact the Women's Aid 24hr National Freephone Helpline on 1800 341 900, 7 days a week. Listening. Believing. Supporting.

Permanent link | Categories: Women's Voices 2017

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